


May We Encounter Many More

by YayaPear



Series: De Causa Erotis Duplicis [2]
Category: The Knick (TV)
Genre: Addiction, Bisexuality, Closeted Character, Cocaine, Doctors & Physicians, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Hospital, M/M, Prostitutes, workplace affair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 21:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YayaPear/pseuds/YayaPear
Summary: Thack always loved the chase, the careful game of courtship which had to go unnoticed by others but be obvious enough for the man of interest to catch on. With Bertie being too forward wasn't the way to go. He would have to be very gentle and take small steps, after all, he didn't want to scare him off...Or, how Bertie and Thack became a bit more involved in each other's lives.





	1. Chapter 1

Those two Chinese women were intriguing, to say the least. Not only did they carry through the experiments, but they also did it all with smiles on their faces. They talked to each other from time to time and kept looking suggestively at Thack and much to his surprise, at Bertie as well. He did his best to focus on the task at hand, but the steady rise and fall of a beautiful chest right before him kept distracting him from work. To him Thack’s ability to balance focused mindful work and playful banter with the prostitutes was astounding. All Bertie could muster were shy instructions and quiet hurried apologies if the woman in front of him flinched in pain. After all, trying to dilate a nullipara’s cervix and insert a foreign object in it was challenging both for the woman and the doctor. A few tweaks and experiments later Thack finally announced he had collected the information he needed. Bertie began to gently pull out Thack’s invention, stealing quick glances whether the woman in front of him was showing any signs of pain.

“No worry, doctor Bertie. There are few things Lin-Lin can't handle.” She said with a chuckle. Bertie, not knowing what to do, just averted his eyes in a mixture of shame and excitement, feeling the heat in his cheeks. She leaned down her head to get a better look at him.

“Why you look away doctor Bertie? Don’t like Lin-Lin? Not pretty?” Bertie’s eyes shot back up.

“N-no, no, that is definitely not the..um..the case,” he said. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her, “I would say...uhm you would be considered appealing in eyes of the most men. Including me.”

“You want to touch me?” she made it sound so sweet and innocent. Bertie cleared his throat.

“Factually, I am touching you. At this very moment.” He said quietly, eyes darting between her face and his hands, busy with his work. She smiled.

“Not like that. Here.” She gently took his hand and placed it on her breast. Bertie gasped but didn’t pull away. Lin-Lin pressed his hand firmer against it, made him feel around it while humming contently. Bertie’s immediate reaction was to pull away, but she didn’t let go. Her eyes, until now, closed in pleasure opened, and she looked straight at Bertie.

“I like you doctor Bertie. I think you like me too.” Lin-Lin bit her bottom lip and stretched her nimble foot, running it gently against the inner seam of Bertie's pants. Amazed, he relished it, unsure if he should stop her or let her continue.

“You should visit me. Or us.” She said and looked over to Dolores, giving her a wink. Bertie looked over at her, shocked by the idea of being with two women but liking it at the same time. As he was about to develop that thought he remembered that they weren't alone. His gaze anxiously shifted to Thackery beside her. His look was intense, to say the least, accompanied by a mischievous grin and even though he was clearly amused by the scene unraveling in front of him, Bertie felt overwhelmed by shame. He hastily removed his hand from Lin-Lin’s chest and politely pushed her adventurous foot away. Thack chuckled.

“Don’t be ashamed, Bertie the Wise. These wonderful ladies are masters of their craft, it is only natural to…succumb to their influence,” he mused and kissed Dolores’s hand, “but I am afraid our time for today has come to an end, unless, of course, you have any other experiments to conduct.” Bertie declined.

The girls hopped down from the tables and began to put on their clothes, while Thack excused himself and went off to the restroom. Bertie stayed, collecting their instruments and washing them thoroughly in the sink while trying to make sense of the morning. From all the things the one that he couldn’t stop going back to was Thack’s scorching look and his amused grin. He wanted to hide his face in his hands, that’s how embarrassed he felt. His mischievous face was still on Bertie's mind, the awkward situation playing on repeat and all Bertie could do was hope that Thack would forget it all soon, or at least have enough mercy to never bring it up again. The rustling behind him had ceased and he looked back, seeing Dolores and Lin-Lin dressed. He gave them what he hoped was a kind smile. They waved and winked at him in return, causing him to lose focus and drop a speculum on the floor. With every clatter he internally cursed more and more, calling himself an overexcited fool while the women giggled at him, what didn’t help him at all. He picked up the speculum and when everything was already washed and lying in the sink, he leaned against it, looking everywhere but at the source of his continuous embarrassment. Well, alright, he spared a glance from time to time, but who wouldn't? That was when Thackery came back from the restroom with a new spring to his step, ready to lead the ladies out. Bertie went along, watching Thack quickly hail a carriage, kiss their hands once more and promise to settle the tab with Wu, whoever that was. Bertie parted with them with a shy ‘So long’ and he would have stayed on the street until the carriage disappeared from his sight if Thackery hadn’t called him back to the hospital. They had earned a few disapproving looks due to the disheveled state they were in, but Bertie had no time to concern himself with that. Somehow Thackery was back in his focused mood and needed Bertie as an active contributor to the discussion. Bertie was thankful that it was strictly work-related.

“You know, I think I need to make a few small modifications to the sheath, it might be a tad snug, did you sense that?” He asked while they were walking towards Thack’s office. 

“Yes, I had to use a little more force than I expected.”

“And those ladies aren’t drums.”

“But the pressure in the last few attempts felt correct,” Bertie remarked and Thack nodded his head vigorously. They stopped before his office.

“I agree, but it’s all just conjectures until we get an actual praevia patient. I’m gonna have sister Harriet put out requests to other hospitals. Any chance we can give them is better than what they’re facing now.” He turned away from Bertie and was about to walk into his office when Bertie stopped him with his gently raised hand. He turned to Bertie, ready to listen. Until now they were walking side to side but now he had Thack’s full attention. He felt a bit nervous like he was in a spotlight, heart beating a little too fast.

“Y-you know, you might consider using water instead of air for the bladders. They’ll add more weight and might conform better to the patient’s anatomy” He finished and nodded into the silence, waiting what Thack would say. He was just looking at him and then the intensity was there again, in his eyes just as it was before. Bertie was quite unsure of what he was thinking until his face showed pure astonishment and pride.

“Brilliant,” he stammered and Bertie’s heart swelled with pride, “Bertie, fine work today,” he paused and then spread his arms and embraced Bertie tightly.

“You’re making great progress.” He muttered in his ear, holding onto Bertie who, not used to physical contact, had no idea how to react. Never before had they been so close, now Thack was pressing against him everywhere, Thack’s stubble was tickling Bertie’s face, his arms were holding him tightly, radiating heat. Bertie’s breath got stuck in his throat. Slowly he put his hands on Thack’s waist, pulling just a little closer. He wanted to be calm but the foreign situation made him stress about every minuscule movement he made and at the same time, strangely, he didn’t want it to stop. He enjoyed Thack’s closeness and how tightly, though briefly he was being held. He felt a pat on his back, Thack pulled away and gave him one more short but intense look of pride before he went to his office and pulled down the blind. Bertie wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination, or if he really just saw Thack wink at him right before he disappeared. He knew this all was supposed to be uplifting, like an ultimate pat on the back for a job well done, but it left him confused. Feeling strangely abandoned he just stood there, looking like a mess with a dull ache in his heart.

* * *

The rest of the day carried out relatively uneventfully. Knick was busy as usual, plenty of sick, urgent patients who needed tending to. Bertie had a lot of work, therefore he couldn’t afford the luxury of not paying attention.

When he came home supper had been done a long time ago and it was waiting for him on the table, now cold. His mother apologized, saying they couldn’t have waited much longer for him and that she could heat it. He agreed thankfully, realizing how much time had passed since lunch. While he waited in the dining room, his father joined him with a newspaper and a cigar. Bertie slightly pursed his lips in thought. At this late hour, his father must have surely already read the newspaper, even twice. He must be there for something else. Bertie didn’t feel good about it. He tapped his fingers on the table, waiting for father to start the conversation. He was almost sure he would inquire about the morning experiments. His throat clenched. Naked prostitutes, questionable methodology and his first erotic encounter surely weren’t the topics he wanted to discuss with his father, not in the foreseeable future and not now. So he just sat there, quiet like the snow, until esteemed doctor Chickering senior ashed his cigar.

“So, Bertram, how did the experiments go?” He asked, still looking at the newspaper. Bertie set his hands on the table.

“Very well. I believe that if we continue further we will develop a new surgical approach to treat praevia patients.” Bertie said cheerfully, hoping his father would appreciate the noble cause. He set down the newspaper.

“Thackery is still concerning himself with that? From the sentiment to the late doctor Christiansen I suppose.” 

“He sees it as a major gynecological issue. Besides, wouldn’t you do the same if it concerned your mentor so much that he took his life over it?” Bertie inquired and his father thought for a while.

“You’re right, I think I would. But I’d much rather see you partake on a more…professional…study.”

“I’m certain that Tha- doctor Thackery will move onto another interesting problem as soon as he is done with this one. He is not known to be a man satisfied by a single success.”

“I hope you are right.” He said and lifted the newspaper only to put it back down immediately.

“And why on earth did he call you in so early? What kind of experiments can’t wait until the sun comes up?” Bertie’s eyes flicked to the side.

“There-um…was a fresh corpse. Doctor Thackery wanted us to be done until rigor mortis set in.” Father’s nose twitched a bit in disgust, but then he remembered his own early days, not so different from what Bertie described to him now.

“A girl?”

“Naturally. Young. Italian.” Bertie hated lying, he was terrible at it.

“Poor thing. What happened to her?”

“Hemorrhagic pancreatitis. She didn’t stand a chance.” He said, somberly mourning this imaginary woman.

“Huh. Must have been quite a drinker. I would’ve thought Russian rather than Italian.” Bertie just shrugged.

“Perhaps she was in a bad situation. I wouldn’t know.”

“Of course. Say, Bertram-“

“Dinner!” His mother exclaimed from the doorway and Bertie was very thankful for her interrupting this conversation even though it went down much better than he expected.

After the dinner exhaustion fell on him like a heavy blanket so he excused himself from family activities and went straight to his room to rest. It had been a long day. He didn’t even bother changing into his nightgown and with lights still off he just laid on the bed straight away, reflecting on the day. He was quite satisfied with himself, except for the time a little girl sneezed into his mouth just as he told her 'say aaaaah'. Those next ten minutes he spent disinfecting his mouth were enough of a reminder to never stand so close, no matter how harmless and friendly the kid looks. Also, he should get better at administering intravenous injections, sometimes he can’t hit a vein if his life depended on it. Even more so if he wants to continue in his surgical career, his hands have to be nimble and precise, if they are to fix broken insides of his future patients. Or get into some other insides, he chuckled as he remembered what he had been doing this morning. In the safety of his room he allowed himself to go back to that memory, recalling how beautiful Lin-Lin and Dolores were. Maybe he really should visit them, he thought, feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks. He really shouldn’t. He was always told not to engage in such activities with a woman that he doesn’t plan a future with. He agreed with that, but he still couldn’t get the image of them out of his head. How beautiful their bodies were, gifted with wonderful full curves, how warm and soft they felt, how nicely they smelled. He smiled fondly. When his heart started to beat a little faster he realized all this time he had been absently playing with himself and was half stiff by now. He stopped, biting his lip. He knows that frequent self-gratification leads to a depraved mind and weakness of psyche but… He unbuckled his pants and made a little more space for his hand. Once in a while can hardly do any harm, right? He closed his eyes and resumed his fantasy. He thought about the fleeting touches, how given another chance he would try to make it feel good, how he would caress her hands, her face, her arms, maybe sides. She would smile at him and make those wonderful gentle sounds. His grip hardened and he needed to breathe faster. When he recalled the feeling of her breast in his hand he felt warmth in his crotch, his mind had gotten hazy and his imagination stopped being coherent and just presented him with images. Her face, full of pleasure. Him kissing her neck while touching her. Touching both of her breasts. Her moaning. He was close, he could feel it. Quiet grunts were leaving his mouth with each stroke of his hand. He clenched the bedsheets and… and then his imagination produced an image so twisted he should have scoffed at it and never come back to it. The image of him being touched, but not by a woman, but by Thack with those intense eyes and satisfied grin. He suddenly felt a huge spike of arousal that made him stick to the image and reach the climax while thinking of Thack pushing him against the wall and pressing his skilled hand against his crotch. His back arched up from the bed and he finished with his hand on his mouth to muffle the moans. He relished the short, but outstandingly strong feeling of bliss, still gently stroking himself until he got down from the high and finally realized to the full extent exactly what image had just made him spend himself.

His hand stopped immediately and he opened his eyes wide, mortified.

He had just thought about Thack touching him and them being together. His reaction to it was inexplicable. He should have been disgusted or lost interest, but instead he...enjoyed it. He just laid there, in the dark, contemplating and feeling truly afraid, because every time he thought about that image he felt his heart picking up the pace. And he had no idea what to think of it. 


	2. Chapter 2

The wonders of the modern age were one of Thack’s favorite things in his life. Him pioneering the unknown waters of surgery and becoming this kind of miracle worker brought him a lot of pride. The fact that he was also using medicine and pills to help him achieve this greatness brought him no shame. The result of this opinion was that he was currently at the junction of Mott and Canal, his head in Dolores’s lap, her hands caressing his hair and occasionally handing him a pipe with opium. It brought him peace. To him this was one of the best places to unwind, let his thoughts run slow and simply watch the light of the pipe change color from dark red to bright yellow as he drew from it. The smoke didn’t burn his lungs anymore, it was just warm and relaxing. Dolores was humming some unknown melody and Thack felt small shivers running down his back as she ran her nails along his scalp. He looked up at her and let her beauty please him. Her hair was down, looking even darker in the red light, her breasts covered by a silk robe without buttons. Thack reached up and gently revealed them. It made Dolores smile what slightly changed the tone of the melody. He played with her nipple, lightly twisting it from side to side, watching her smile widen. She or some other girl was always there for him when he needed to escape the world of responsibilities. He mostly wanted them to simply be there with him, sometimes more. Right now, he was just enjoying the possibilities, laying half-aroused in her lap and just imagining what he could do with her, feeling slightly more creative than if he hadn’t had the opium, but at the same time not willing to move at all. Strangely to him, it felt like they were the only people in the room, though they could hear other couples doing their business or people walking around them. Time was just dragging on, but Thack enjoyed it.

“Is something on your mind Johnny?” Dolores asked with a smile.

“Nothing at all.” He answered, voice hoarse from smoking.

“Isn’t that beautiful?”

“Indeed it is.” He breathed in the smoke and then turned his head to the side, kissing her thigh and letting the smoke out through the corners of his mouth. He felt her skin tense and she let out a little chuckle.

“Your beard tickles.” He smiled up at her.

“It’s not a beard.”

“No?”

“It’s mustache.” He said and wiggled it from side to side. Dolores hummed contently and then lifted a strand of her hair, putting it between her lips and nose.

“What if I had one too?” She asked playfully, knowing that she could do this kind of jokes with Johnny.

“I don’t mind people with mustaches. I have one of myself, how could I?”

“You also have a cock.”

“That I do. And I also don’t mind people with cocks. But you already know that, are you saying this just to tease me?”

“No, just trying to understand,” Her smile was so beautiful, “I see that you don’t have this,” she slowly reached her hand down and caressed herself between her legs, her eyes fluttering shut “but you enjoy that as well.” Thack bit his lower lip.

“Then I must be a very complicated man.” Her eyes opened again and she smiled coyly.

“I think the opposite. All you need is this..”And she reached down, gently rubbing Thack’s crotch, watching him smile in pleasure. Dolores went quiet, just watched Thack’s blissful face and worked with her hand. Thack let her, enjoying the flutters his heart made in arousal. He bit his lower lip. They didn’t hold a conversation like that very often. He made it clear it was a matter of utmost intimacy. If the wrong people were to know it could lead to life-changing consequences. He wasn't ashamed of it at all, he just wanted to keep the circle of people who knew about it minuscule. A couple of Wu's girls knew, therefore Wu knew too. As long as Thack would stay a paying customer though, his secret was safe. Abby knew as well and Thack's ability do be intimate with any partner fascinated her, but in the end, she concluded it wasn't very surprising. It matched Thack's personality and the everpresent chaos surrounding him. Dolores teased him about it from time to time and he allowed it because of the situation they were in. In red lights, dressed so barely that secrets had very little space to hide. He liked when she brought the conversation to men, he liked the fantasies. He hasn’t been with one in a long time, those days ended in his early years of clinical practice. He then mostly sought the attention of women who could make him company even in public events, necessary for his career growth, but he ceased to do that too. Now it was just Mott and Canal. He liked it, it was enough but he would be lying if he said he didn't want more, nowadays even more because of a certain person. 

Thack wasn’t blind. He saw how Bertie started to act around him, he noticed how he had become much more jittery, how he kept fixing his suit, touching his hair and most importantly: how he kept looking at Thack. He probably thought Thack didn’t notice, but he had seen it many times before. He knew exactly what it looked like when someone had feelings for him and in Bertie's case, it was no exception. He would expect him to be more mature about it, perhaps try to be more subtle. He himself had gone through a phase like this when he was around sixteen. Still, he found the attention Bertie was giving him borderline adorable. Perhaps Bertie is just a late bloomer, realizing his inclinations only now, in which case Thack didn’t envy him. Early years of practicing medicine are demanding and this would only add to the stack.

But the fact that there was another person like him in his team pleasantly surprised him. He had been considering his options whether he should act out on it or let it be. On one hand, he wasn't thrilled about being involved in a workplace affair since he generally disapproved of them. Also, an affair with another surgeon wouldn't be pardoned as easily as one with a nurse. As forgiving as Knickerbocker was, the place had its' limits. Their reputations could suffer greatly. On the other hand, Bertie was right there, adoring Thack and wishing for his attention and affection which Thack, to his surprise, was more than willing to give. The notion of guiding Bertie through this part of adulthood intrigued him much more than he had anticipated. Remembering his wide-eyed reaction to the naked prostitutes and his shy touches he could only imagine how adorably bashful he would get if Thack made any advancements. But imagining it wasn't enough, he wanted to see it on his own. He would like to be the one who would get Bertie used to being intimate, to whose touch he wouldn't flinch but he would lean into it, reciprocate. Thack believed it wouldn't be hard to achieve with a bit of practice and a healthy dose of enthusiasm. And he hasn't been with a man for oh, so long. He missed it. He always loved the chase, the careful game of courtship which had to go unnoticed by others but be obvious enough for the person of interest to catch on. With Bertie being too forward wasn't the way to go. He would have to be very gentle and take small steps, after all, he didn't want to scare him off. He shivered. He could almost feel the young man under his hands. He felt warmness inside his chest and realized with amusement that he had already made the decision, as risky as it may be.

"You are smiling a lot tonight Johnny. What are you thinking of?" 


	3. Chapter 3

A week had passed. While there were still no phone calls or referrals, Thack, between thinking of perfecting their invention and tending to patients, had begun to focus on Bertie. He hadn't realized until then how much affection he held for the young man and his lighthearted approach to the world. His optimistic and sometimes a little naive demeanor brightened the time they spent together during work. Thack found himself looking forward to meeting him, trying to see Bertie a little more often than usual. He even scheduled him to assist on a few interesting surgeries, though he couldn't do it too much. It meant leaving Gallinger and Edwards on the ward together or, god forbid, Everett had to assist and take orders from Edwards. Their hostility was putting a lot of strain on the team's dynamic. Thack should be the one to resolve the tension, but he was growing tired of hearing them insult each other and struggle to get the upper hand. They especially liked to do it in front of him, in which case his gaze began to wander around after a while, not really listening. His eyes would then stop on Bertie who would give him a nervous, but somewhat supportive smile. It didn't solve the problem, though at least it gave him more will to deal with their problems. Bertie seemed to be elated to be around him. He thrived on the attention he was receiving from Thack. Every day he was sharper and more attentive, responding every time Thack needed him to consult. Sure, he was still quite bashful and nervous around him, but Thack knew that he would get to him eventually. He was making him proud and in return, Thack wasn't short on praise. He noticed how much it meant to Bertie, even as little as 'good job' made him smile to himself when he thought Thack wasn't looking. Immediately taking a liking to that smile Thack had to admit that he was having a lot more fun than he expected. He let the young man grow on him without much thought, looking forward to what would happen next.

On Wednesday Bertie assisted him again. Since the tibial fracture they were dealing with wasn't an urgent life-threatening state, Thack let Bertie do a lot more than he usually did. Instructing Bertie, he took hold of the suctioning and observed in case something went wrong, but there was no need for it. Bertie methodically worked through the wound, carefully avoided nerves and blood vessels until he was able to reach the fracture and reset it with Thack's help. Thack trusted Bertie's skills even before but for the first time seeing him independently lead the surgery was an entirely different thing. He was immensely proud. 

"Bertie the Wise, _very_ well done," he said as they entered the scrub area, "I couldn't be more satisfied." 

"Thank you, I can't believe I did it I...I'm really happy you let me do this Thack, it's an honor." Thack adored how cheerful Bertie was. Though he was looking at the drain Thack could see the blush on his cheeks.

"Please. It would have come sooner or later. Next time I'll pick something harder for you."

"Should I be afraid?" Bertie joked, stealing a look at Thack.

"Oh yes, by all means. But don't bother yourself with that now, you should celebrate!" Thack grabbed Bertie around his shoulders and pulled him to his side, rubbing his arm in encouragement. He looked down and marveled at how freely Bertie was smiling, he even heard a few chuckles. Feeling his warm body under his arm, buzzing with joy set his mood even higher and without thinking he brought Bertie's face closer and kissed him on the temple. Bertie finally looked up, still beaming but now there was more to it, something incredibly soft, even hopeful. Thack smiled slowly, elated upon seeing this side of Bertie. The look suited him and Thack knew what it meant. Bertie leaned forward a little and lifted his hand from the sink. His smile faded a bit, instead, he looked focused. Thack tightened his hand around his shoulders, Bertie moved another inch towards him, his lips parted but then stopped. His body went rigid under Thack's hand and he broke their eye contact. For a second he looked lost, but then he recollected himself, looked down again and cleared his throat. He seemed at a loss for words and frankly, so was Thack. 

"I-I'm certain I will," Bertie said with a subtle tremor in his voice. Thack frowned.

"I'm sorry?"

"You advised me to celebrate. And I'm certain I will do exactly that." 

"Very well," Thack could see how uncomfortable he was making him and he didn't want to torment him further. With two encouraging pats on Bertie's back, he pulled his hand away. Bummed, he watched as Bertie finished his wash up, quickly took off his scrubs and went for the door. He felt like a fool for letting himself get carried away. Though it was a nice moment, it wasn't the right one. Anyone could've walked in, the scrubbing area was available for all staff. And what was happening now was the exact thing he didn't want to happen; Bertie got scared. 

"Thank you again, Thack. It was a pleasure," Bertie said in the doorway with a hint of a smile, but Thack could see it was rather tense, " I'll be going now if you'll excuse me," and he didn't wait for an answer. Thack was left alone, wiping his hands into a rag which he then threw into a corner in annoyance. 

\----

After that Bertie purposely became avoidant, even elusive. As much as it pained him, he had decided to restrict his time with Thack to the bare minimum required for cooperation. It was for the best. He knew otherwise things just wouldn't turn out well and he didn't want to further humiliate himself. But it was a shame, last week had been wonderful. He wasn't sure if Thack was really giving him more attention or it just felt like it because of his newfound interest, but being by his side felt ecstatic. It was hard to concentrate with how nervous and excited he was about Thack, but the fear of disappointing him was greater. Bertie's motivation had grown, he wanted to feel worthy of Thack's attention. He worked harder, their teamwork had improved and it was his fault it had to end. He had turned a friendly moment into something more, he even got so reckless he went for a kiss. By some miracle, he managed to stop himself in time before any damage was done, even before Thack noticed him getting closer. He would have been furious for sure. Though at that moment he had looked so warm and welcoming, holding Bertie close, even kissing him on the temple with pride of how fast he was improving. How Bertie wished he could go back into that moment and be held again, to feel valued and appreciated. When he was alone, against his best judgment he imagined that Thack was like him, that there was a chance, that if Bertie would have kissed him that day he would have kissed him back. The warmth he felt while thinking of Thack in that way was addictive. The more he tried to deprive himself of it the more he craved it. If he avoided thinking of him throughout the day he would dream of him, over what he had no control. Sometimes the dreams were gentle and sweet, leaving him melancholic when he woke up. Sometimes they were of a rather carnal nature. In that case, it was especially hard to look Thack in the face the next morning, even though he dreamt of nothing particularly explicit. How could he? He had no idea how he would be intimate with another man. He just wished Thack's hands could touch him everywhere. The man himself wasn't making his situation easier either. The more Bertie tried to avoid him the more they would meet. He was still so friendly and encouraging, giving him smiles that would get under his skin no matter how much he would try to fight it. Bertie always knew Thack was charming but now that he was the one falling for it it wasn't so amusing anymore. He wanted to be left alone to deal with his predicament in peace but the nature of his work permitted him from it. He came to the conclusion that he would have to just wait it out no matter how long it took. He would stay away from Thack and stop thinking about him. It would have been easier though if it didn't feel like he was fighting every fiber of his body. 


	4. Chapter 4

A single phone call from Bellevue hospital ended their waiting. A young woman, multipara, with a textbook case of placenta praevia. As soon as Bertie heard it he hurried over to Thack’s office, biting his lips and frowning. The blind on the office door was drawn up so he just went in.

“Doctor Thackery…” Thack looked up with a hint of smile as soon as he heard Bertie’s voice and it made Bertie stop. Though it terrified him, he found himself adoring that smile more and more. It took a moment for him to recollect his thoughts.

“Bellevue just called. We got one. It’s coming in right now.” Thack’s smile faded as he got serious. Now wasn’t time for their little game, that was certain. He dismissed Bertie and as soon as he was away Thack reached into his drawer and pulled out a vial. He weighted it in his hand, thinking. Then he reached for another, just for good measure. 

* * *

The surgery was a roaring success. Thack was already used to awing the audience with his accomplishments but to Bertie it was a completely new sensation. Never ever before has he seen the entire surgical theater spontaneously stand up and applause the surgeons. Yes he’s seen them stare in awe, look twice because they didn’t believe what they were seeing, but never a standing ovation. The Christiansen-Thackery-Chickering placental repair was honestly quite a mouthful, but it was without a doubt something to be proud of. Hearing his name in the procedure’s title made him shake his head in disbelief. In between the final sutures he had dared to look at Thack with questioning eyes, not sure if he truly meant it but he was met with a very energetic, bright and proud smile, assuring him Thack was indeed serious.

Now Bertie, although in very high spirits, was quite tired and dozing off on a couch in Thack’s office. Thack, on the other hand was very much awake, sitting behind his desk and nervously shuffling his feet. He stopped writing the paper a long time ago, though he didn’t realize it. He was just looking at Bertie, planning. There, on the couch he looked so soft and vulnerable. He chewed his cheek. Bertie was right where he wanted him. He felt himself getting more and more excited. Rubbing his hands on his thighs, his eyes were darting all around Bertie’s body, appreciating how close he was. All he had to do was stand up from the table and reach his hand to touch the young man. There was no doubt Bertie would like it. He liked when Thack touched him, Thack was sure he wanted even more, but he was too afraid, too shy to get what he wanted. Damn that boy, they could’ve started a long time ago, could’ve enjoyed themselves. Time was flying and Thack was very acutely aware of that. Tonight had to be the night. What else could crown such a success? Thack’s eyes shifted onto the glass cabinet and he knew exactly what he would do.

Bertie could hear glass clinking but decided it wasn’t enough to wake him up. It was Thack, nudging into his arm gently, who got him up. He was crouched on the ground, their faces on the same level, just a reach away. Bertie was taken aback by the proximity, his heart immediately jumping and picking up the pace. Thack was very close, probably closest since he had hugged Bertie.

“W-what is it?” He asked, still sleepy a bit.

“I would like you to have a drink with me Bertie.” Thack said in a hushed voice, “I’ve been saving this _fine_ bottle for the time I would finally solve the praevia problem. I believe now is the time.” He said and there was that proud, wide smile again. Bertie left his eyes linger on Thack’s face, on those small wrinkles that stood out only when Thack smiled and on his eyes, usually so pale but now, in the low light his pupils were blown wide, wider than Bertie has ever seen. His heart was hammering in his chest. How could he say no?

“Of course.” He said with the same hushed voice, not proud of how squeaky it sounded. He took the generously filled glass from Thack and sat up. Thack sat right next to him. Not letting his eyes off of Bertie Thack raised his glass.

“To doctor Jules Christiansen who deserves to be here with us.” When they finished the first glass Thack reached behind the sofa, took out the bottle and poured them another. Bertie was too bewildered to protest, seeing Thack like this for the first time. He had a feeling this night would be special in some way.

“On a lighter note, here’s to our success. May we encounter many more.” Thack winked at him, his smile not leaving him. Their glasses clinked, but Thack didn’t drink yet. He slowly shifted his free hand so it rested behind Bertie’s back, “I’ve been satisfied with you very much lately. Your insight on this case was…simply brilliant. I’m looking forward to our next project very much.” He said, leaning closer. Bertie was feeling a bit cornered. He didn’t know how to handle Thack’s compliments anymore, so he just drank the entire glass in one go, feeling the burn. He looked away from Thack, conflicted.

“What will we be working on next?” He asked quietly, not trusting his voice, breathing hard. If he were to look at Thack he would see the hungry smile on his face, but currently his eyes were firmly set on the floor.

“Hmm…whatever catches our eye.” Thack cooed and began to stroke Bertie behind his ear and on his neck. Bertie froze. All the hairs on the back of his neck stood up as Thack slowly ran his fingers along the back of his neck. What was he doing? Small shivers ran down Bertie’s back, it felt so good but so…not right at the same time. Bertie was sure it didn’t mean what he was making out of it, perhaps it was just…a sign of affection. Afraid to react, he just waited. He didn’t move until Thack’s hand went lower, dipping just an inch under his collar, stroking towards his clavicle. Though he was not expert, he knew touch like that only meant one thing. He didn’t believe it was genuine, though. Saddened, he swallowed hard and took a shallow breath.

“Are you doing this to mock me?” he uttered just as Thack was about to undo his first button. His hand stopped.

“What?” Bertie tilted his head towards Thack a bit, but still wasn’t looking at him. The hand on his neck, though gentle, felt like it was hurting him, weighing him down.

“I asked if you were doing this all to mock me. You _know_ that I like you…way more…than I should and yet you’ve been doing all these _things_ to me that you don’t do to anyone else, trying to make me believe that there…that you _would_…” Bertie finally looked at him waiting for the answer, to hear he was right. Thack could feel Bertie’s body shaking under his hand. His voice was quiet and unsteady and Thack thought, even through his haze, that maybe he had been pushing too hard. Though all he wanted to do was to pin Bertie to the couch and have his way with him, he slowed down. They wouldn’t get anywhere like that.

“Bertie..” he said gently and rubbed the skin he was touching, “that is simply not true. I’m doing this because I want to. And I think you want it too. You’re right, I know you like me. I like that. There’s nothing wrong about it.” He reached higher and caressed his cheek. Bertie was looking at him with wide eyes and what looked like a glimmer of hope. Thack leaned a little closer.

“Now tell me, would you like me to continue?” He asked sweetly and watched. Bertie looked down again in disbelief, processing what he had just heard. His eyes darted to Thack who sat there, biting his lip. Bertie subconsciously shifted closer.

“I-I…” It was simply too much for him. Thack’s patience was running low. That was a simple yes or no question. Though he might help Bertie decide... Putting his face against Bertie’s neck he began to kiss him there. Bertie sucked in a surprised breath, still stiff and shaking. His mind had stopped working. Nothing made sense. He was aroused within seconds, with doctor Thackery himself kissing him in such places he couldn’t do anything but shake and whimper quietly.

“Hmmm?” Thack urged, feeling himself getting harder.

“I….”Thack changed the kisses for a wide lick and a bite, elicting a sweet shocked sound from Bertie.

“…Yes.” He whispered with a broken voice. Thack grinned against his skin. His hands then moved down, touching Bertie’s whole body, squeezing Bertie’s hips, pushing him further against the sofa and then finally finding Bertie’s …_oh my God_ and Bertie’s eyes just went wide, his lips in a sweet ‘o’ shape. Thack rubbed and Bertie’s legs were spreading bit by bit on their own volition, hips spasming up and shaking, wanting more of whatever Thack was willing to give. After one particularly strong bite Thack pulled away to look Bertie in the face, absolutely pleased with his red faced hazy look. He was breathing heavily, waiting for what would happen next.

“Good,” he purred “then come home with me Bertie….” Bertie clenched his jaw. He shouldn’t. It’s not by all means appropriate, but…

He couldn’t say no.

After a second of just looking at him nodded carefully.


	5. Chapter 5

The entire way felt like a dream. He had to check every few steps if it was really Thack walking beside him. Every time he looked up to check he was rewarded with a wink which made his head spin. They didn’t speak at all. Bertie’s walk was a bit unsure after the drinks he had so at one point Thack offered him his shoulder which he accepted, looking around if there wasn’t anyone who could see them, but the streets were empty. With every step taken closer he could feel his heart speeding up until they were finally at the front door. Thack lead Bertie in, helping him take off his coat. Without a word he set his hand on the small of Bertie’s back, gently pushing him further in, navigating him through the dark. By this time his mind felt clear again, focusing a bit more on how delicate he should be to make sure Bertie would enjoy everything. Bertie could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He felt like he was walking inside a lion’s cage, afraid what would come next but his desire far outweighed his fear.

“Up the stairs, please.” Thack whispered into his ear, taking him by the hand. The less Bertie could see him in the dark the more excited he felt. Sometimes Thack turned to check on him, perhaps coaxing him to go faster. Right next to the staircase was a dark room. Thack lead him inside. Soon a faint yellow light appeared from an oil lamp, revealing the simple, but elegant bedroom dominated by a wide wooden bed with high headboards. Bertie’s breath hitched. Thack was facing away from him, looking like nothing but a dark silhouette and it scared Bertie a bit. He flexed his fists in nervousness, idling on the doorstep. When the flame stabilized Thack looked back and smiled at Bertie. He walked over to him, so close that the tips of their shoes were touching and played with the buttons on Bertie’s vest.

“I don’t think you’ll be needing this.” He said lecherously and unbuttoned Bertie’s vest and shirt, exposing his skin for the first time. He rested his hand on his pectoral, thumb playing around with the perked nipple.

He leaned down, kissing Bertie on the lips. At first gently, bud gradually he put more force to it. He cherished the thrill of a new experience, of all the things he’ll be able to discover about Bertie like those exceptional little sounds he was making in the back of his throat. He slipped Bertie’s shirt off, grabbing at his naked skin, kneading the considerable muscle. Slightly displeased at the lack of Bertie’s involvement he took Bertie’s hands and placed them on his body, where they immediately clenched into his shirt, pulling him closer. Thack shifted his thigh in between Bertie’s legs, immediately feeling how hard he was, and began to grind against it. Bertie was gently rocking his pelvis in search of more friction. He felt overcome by his arousal, wanting to go faster, but he didn’t want to look too impatient. He tugged at Thack’s shirt, pulled it out of his trousers and carefully touched Thack’s skin with just his fingertips. He was so shaky. Thack felt it and smiled into the kiss. He loved how everything he did affected Bertie so much. He bit his lower lip, making him jerk and then pulled him towards the bed. Bertie followed with heart in his throat.

“Lie back.” Bertie listened. Thack kneeled above him hands caressing his chest, then going down and unbuttoning Bertie’s pants. Bertie sucked in a breath, hair on his legs standing upon being exposed to the air so suddenly. Now he was only in his briefs, legs spread and so visibly aroused. On the other hand Thack was still almost fully clothed. Bertie clumsily grabbed at his shirt and managed to pull it over Thack’s head, leaving Thack pleasantly surprised. He grinned, pulled down his briefs and went straight for his cock. Bertie’s legs jerked together and he covered his face with his hands, muffling his surprised yelp. Thack just could not stop grinning. He didn’t let go of Bertie, on contrary, he started to stroke him and with the other hand he spread his legs again. Another beautiful, quiet moan was stopped by Bertie’s hands.

“Look at me,” he gently pulled Bertie’s hands away, revealing a very red face, “don’t hold back, be loud as you want. No one but me will hear. And I like it a lot.”

“You do?” He asked, voice high pitched. Thack tugged harder and hummed in approval.

“Of course I do…” He murmured, moving his other hand to push against Bertie’s perineum. Bertie’s back arched off of the mattress. Thack was overwhelming, knowing exactly what to do with him. He was fighting the urge to cover his mouth, the feeling of being exposed was foreign, but so exhilarating. Whimpering he clutched the sheets beneath him, feeling the tingling and tightening in his lower belly. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“So good, I…I’m…!” Thack sped up, making Bertie spill on his own belly with a sweet, drawn out moan. Most of the tension left Bertie turning him soft and pliant. Thack took in the picture, starting to feel satisfied with himself, but not done yet. He wanted to do so much more, make them both feel exceptionally good. But it wasn’t just his decision. When the afterglow subsided a bit he handed Bertie a towel to clean himself while he leaned over to his nightstand, looking for something in the drawer. Bertie sat up with the towel folded in his lap, trying to preserve a bit of decency. As if Thack hadn’t just done…what he had done. He looked over and watched Thack’s naked back in awe, wondering it all wasn’t just a dream or a delusion. He wanted to touch him again, to make sure he was really there right next to him. He even stretched his hand but stopped, not sure if he could, if it wasn’t inappropriate or…too forward. In that moment Thack found what he was looking for and turned to face Bertie. Upon seeing his hesitant hand he laughed.

“Go on, I won’t bite. It’s what we’re here for.”

“Right, right.” Encouraged by Thack’s smile he lightly caressed his side and hesitantly went over his upper chest, just like Thack did to him before. He dared to look at his face for a split second and he noticed Thack was looking at him pointedly, perhaps expectantly? His eyes darted from side to side, thinking. He..he should probably return the favor, right? After a quick breath he placed his other hand in Thack’s crotch, rubbing him through his pants. Thack’s eyes widened in surprise and Bertie stopped.

“Um..shouldn’t I?”

“No, by all means, go on. Though I’d like to show you more,” he purred, watching Bertie smile nervously, “would you like that?”

“What would it be?” Thack leaned in close, grabbing Bertie’s ass possessively, fingers delving shallowly between his cheeks, rubbing circles into his inner thighs. “I’d like to go insinde you,” He whispered into his ear. Feeling Bertie seize up he moved down to kiss his neck, already knowing how Bertie liked it. “I think you’ll find it at least enjoyable.” Bertie was absolutely scandalized. He had heard of such practices. Never considered them himself, but now… he decided to trust Thack. He pulled away and mustered enough courage to look Thack in the eye, their faces close.

“Just tell me what to do.” He whispered, nodding. Thack bit his lip, smiled and kissed Bertie deeply again, leaving him absolutely breathless.

“I like your spirit,” he mused, “lay back again and spread your legs for me.” Bertie did so, feeling his heart pick up the pace again. He put away the towel, figuring it was now rather obsolete. Thack kneeled between his legs and finally took off his pants briefs in one smooth motion. Bertie curiously propped himself up and felt heat rising in his cheeks. Seeing Thack like that, hard and slick made him tremble with excitement.

“Will it hurt?”He peeped nervously.

“Not at all,” Thack promised, reached over to the nightstand and took a small box and two glass vials, “I’ll make you nice and ready.” He opened the box and slicked his fingers with what Bertie recognized as vaseline.

“What is that?” He asked when Thack also doused his fingers with what was in the vial. Thack looked up with a smirk.

“Just a little cocaine solution to help you relax.”

“Cocaine? Are you sure?”

“Don’t you worry. I know what I’m doing.” He said and leaned down, kissing Bertie’s inner thigh. Bertie swallowed, looking at the dark ceiling. Thack’s mustache was pleasantly scratching against his soft skin and he felt himself getting hard again. When Thack’s slick fingers pressed against his entrance he sucked in a breath through his teeth. He rubbed a small circle around it and then Bertie felt the tip of his finger pushing in.

“Relax.” Thack murmured and Bertie tried, he really tried but it was such a strange feeling. A single finger was now going in and out of him slowly. He was biting his lips, trying to control his breathing. There was a slight burn when Thack added another finger. Bertie was getting restless. He wasn’t enjoying himself much and he was considering telling Thack. He felt the fingers curl inside him and Thack pushed even deeper until…_Oh._ Thack absolutely adored that strangled moan and made sure to hit that spot again.

“Is that my…?”

“It certainly is.” He said with a smile. Picking up the pace a little he made sure to push against the sweet spot more and more, making Bertie cry out every time. Bertie’s breath was getting faster, pupils wider. Thack knew exactly how he was feeling. He could imagine the warmth spreading through his body, the rush of energy, the absolute joy and loss of inhibition. Judging by the sounds Bertie was making the cocaine was already taking effect. He was finally free to enjoy himself. Thack probably should have used it sooner. He added another finger, stretching Bertie wider, though now it was much easier. Bertie was writhing under him, his jaw tensing, fists clenching.

“Thack…” he whined.

“Yes my dear.”

“I have to do something, I don’t know I have to move, I have to…”he pleaded, a bit incoherently.

“Get on top of me.” Thack propsed, and helped Bertie switch positions. Now Thack was sitting, propped against the headboard with Bertie kneeling above his lap. “I’ll show you how to ride me.” Bertie nodded vigorously, hands on Thack’s shoulders. Thack took the second vial, uncorked it with his teeth and doused himself as well.

“Do you want it?” Bertie nodded again, “tell me how much you want it.” Thack was tugging on his cock, his other hand in Bertie going painfully slow.

“I…so much,” Bertie was looking around, unable to focus, “I can’t wait, Thack, please…” He felt how the fingers slipped out, but a pleasant buzz was still there. Thack put his hands on Bertie’s hips guiding him down until he was able to push the tip in. Bertie sucked in a breath.

“Take your time.” He took Bertie into his hand and stroked him gently to make it more pleasurable. Bertie slowly lowered himself, taking more and more of Thack’s cock with cut off moans, loving the strange feeling. Thack praised him constantly, giving him more courage until he was able to take it all. Thack’s hand pushed his hips up and down, showing him the rhythm and he followed, angling his hips so Thack’s cock would hit him in that wonderful spot every time he went down. He loved the fullness, the stretch and he loved it even more when he heard Thack groan for the first time. His hands tightened on Thack’s shoulders as he picked up the pace, feeling himself getting hotter and hotter. At this point he was loud, not paying attention to how many times he moaned out ‘Oh God’ or ‘I love it’, whimpering every time Thack told him how good and tight he is for him.

“Faster Bertie, go faster.” Thack was feeling that overwhelming joy again, mesmerized by Bertie bouncing on his cock, head thrown back. He needed more. Bertie listened, but it still wasn’t enough. He began to thrust up, meeting Bertie’s already breaking rhythm. Bertie hunched over, bringing their foreheads together, his moans getting hoarser. His hips were trembling under Thack’s fingers.

“I can’t, I can’t anymore, I can’t…” He mewled in between thrusts, his hips stopping and leaving Thack to do it on his own. Thack held his hips above him for a little more, then he pulled out and turned them around, pushing Bertie into the mattress and picking up the pace even more. Bertie’s eyes opened wide, his hand found his cock and after a few more strokes he came again with a broken scream, covering his hand with his own spent. Thack hooked Bertie’s leg on his shoulder, pushed harder and faster, stimulating Bertie even more, until his body jerked with every thrust. Seeing that finally took him over the edge, finishing inside Bertie and riding out the bliss, letting Bertie’s leg roll off of his shoulder. He pulled out and they stayed like that, panting, foreheads touching and eyes closed, slowly coming down from the incredible high. Bertie was the first one to break the silence with a sweet, relieved chuckle.

“What?” Thack asked, smiling. Their eyes met, both wide.

“Nothing. I’m just really happy.”

“You liked it.”

“Absolutely.” Thack hummed contently and leaned closer, kissing Bertie deeply, without hurry. Bertie put his arms around him, fingers going through Thack’s hair and holding him close. He felt like he could stay like this for a very long time.

“Are you sleepy at all?” Thack asked, pulling away.

“No, why?” Perhaps there were more things Thack wanted to show him?

“I was thinking we should finish the paper. Would you help me?” He asked as he got out of bed. Bertie looked him in confusion. He wanted to stay in bed a little longer though…it would probably annoy Thack. Working with him would be exciting as well, he was sure.

“Of course, just let me put something on.” Bertie chirped and got out of the war bed as well. Before he could pick up his shirt from the floor Thack threw him one of his own.

“Put this on and come down to the study. I’ll have some tea, would you like some as well?” Thack asked, walking out of the room, briefly squeezing Bertie’s butt when he passed him in the doorway. Bertie stood there, taken aback. He could not believe what the evening has come to, but the messy bed and the dark reflection of his naked body with tousled hair in the window were enough evidence. He clutched the shirt and brought it to his nose. A naughty smile appeared on his lips.

“Yes please.” He called out and walked towards the stairs, putting on Thack’s shirt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised, more of bisexual Bertie, yay, finally!!  
I had a lot of fun writing this very explicit work, I hope you liked it and it was up tou your tastes as it was up to mine. Comments will be greatly appreciated, let me know that I'm not alone in this, please :* <3


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